It's Like Ground Hog Day
by pupeez4eva
Summary: Reid keeps getting hit by cars.


"Reid what happened?"

Morgan sounds concerned and Reid sighs, glaring at the ceiling in irritation. He shifts the phone from hand to hand, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable feel of it in his hand. He hadn't really gotten hurt from the accident other than a few bruises, that for some reason seemed mostly situated around his hands.

"Reid?"

"I got hit by a car" Reid replies, scowling at his hands in irritation. Maybe he's a little out of it. Pain medication and all - he tried to tell them that he was an ex-drug-addict but they just wouldn't listen. Great service, huh? If he had a relapse, he was blaming them.

"Reid, what?" Morgan sounds alarmed and Reid gets dragged back into the conversation, remembering that he had just dropped a bombshell on his best friend.

"I got hit by a car" Reid repeats. "I'm fine though. Just a little bruised. And high...but you can blame the hospital for that last part."

Silence.

"Well. Goodbye then."

Reid hangs up the phone before he gets assaulted by the questions that he knows will be headed his way. He drops the phone down next to him and groans.

At least this gave him a chance to have that vacation he had been meaning to take. Even if it was only for a day. And even if he would be spending it in bed.

* * *

"Reid? I thought you were coming to work today?"

Morgan again. Reid sighed, glancing mournfully at the cast on his arm and then back at the phone in his other hand.

"I got hit by a car" he tells his friend.

"I know" Morgan replies. "You told me that yesterday, remember? But you said you would be okay to come to work today..."

"I thought so too" Reid replies, sounding slightly annoyed. "But that was until I got introduced to the front of old Mrs. Wallace's car this morning."

There was an awkward pause.

"Reid...?"

"Yeah" Reid shoots back, annoyed; not at Morgan but the general situation. "I got hit by a car. Again."

There is a slight moment of silence.

"Wow" Morgan says after the moment has passed. "You have worse luck that I thought."

"Tell me something I don't know" Reid grouches.

He then hangs up the phone and decides to spend a few moments floating in his painkiller fueled high.

Seriously though, if he had a relapse these hospital staff were getting it.

* * *

"Morgan. I had a feeling you would be calling again so I'll just get it over and done with - I got hit by a car. Again."

"Reid -"

"- Mrs. Wallace's car. Again. I swear, the women needs to have that car confiscated. This shouldn't even be possible. Getting hit by a car three days in a row..."

"Reid -"

" - And those damn hospital staff don't seem to care when I tell them that I was an ex-drug-addict. They just keep pumping me full of pain killers. I think I should get a law suit. This is ridiculous."

"Reid -"

"...Yet admittedly enjoyable."

"Reid -"

"Bye Morgan."

* * *

"Morgan I'm scared."

"Reid?" Morgan sounds alarmed. Reid glances nervously at the phone before resuming what he had been saying.

"This is going to sound crazy but...I got hit by a car. Again."

Silence.

"Are you...serious?" Morgan sounds incredulous.

"Yes" Reid replies. "Yes I'm serious. Can you believe it?"

"Um..."

"You don't believe me" Reid sounds incredulous. "I tell you I got hit by a car and you don't believe me."

"It's not that I don't believe you..."

Reid hangs up on him.

* * *

Reid goes to work the next day.

To say that Morgan is alarmed would be an understatement.

"Reid?" he says, incredulously.

Reid is leaning on a pair of crutches. His fingers are bandaged and the right side of his face is bruised.

"Reid?" Morgan repeats, as if he can hardly believe it.

"I got hit by a car" Reid says, mournfully.

"Oh, baby!" Garcia gasps when she catches sight of him. The next moment she is right beside him, her hands hovering around him, concern and sympathy etched onto her face.

"This morning?" Morgan is still trying to wrap his head around the situation. What kind of luck did a person need to have in order to get hit by a car five days in a row? It just wasn't normal.

"No, thank god" Reid mutters. "But I _did _get hit over the duration of the past four days. And you didn't believe me."

"Um..." Morgan is at a lost for words. "Sorry?"

"It's fine" Reid's face softens and he sighs. "I wouldn't have believed it either. But hey, things seem to be getting better..."

That afternoon Reid gets hit for the fifth time.

* * *

"I think someones out to get me" Reid groans the next day, as Morgan helps him out of the hospital. They stand awkwardly on the sidewalk and Morgan shoots Reid a supportive look.

"I'm sure it'll get better" he soothes.

The next moment Reid is lying on the pavement and Morgan is wondering what the hell just happened.

* * *

"What the hell just happened?" Reid groans when he finally regains consciousness...the next morning. He looks around at his surroundings. A hospital room.

"Sweet Jesus, I'm living my own version of 'Groundhog Day.'"

"Reid, I think someone is out to get you."

Reid turns his head slightly, and groans when the movement causes sparks of pain to fire up his neck. He scowls at Morgan.

"You aren't making me feel any better" he tells his friend. "This is insane. Do you think this is some elaborate plot to make me go crazy? Or a really bad plot to assassinate me?"

"Want some lime jello?" Morgan asks.

"Drugs and lime jello..." Reid mumbles, thoughtfully. "I guess its not the worst way to spend the Saturday..."

"Sunday" Morgan corrects him.

"I was unconscious for an entire day. Brilliant" Reid sighs. "When I'm on my deathbed, I'm going to look back and regret this waste of a day."

"Might be very soon if you keep going on like this" Morgan tells him. Reid scowls.

"Thank you so much."

"Your welcome."

There was an awkward pause. Then Reid spoke up.

"Morgan...did you tell them not to give me any drugs?"

"Yup."

"Did you tell them why?"

"Yup."

"...They didn't listen did they?"

"Nope."

"Thought so" Reid sighs and buries himself back into the hard mattress of his hospital bed. "I need a lawyer."

* * *

"_Reid? Reid? Can you hear me?"_

Reid groans and forced his eyes to open.

"What happened?" he moans.

Morgan's face looms over his and his expression turns to one of embarrassment.

"You got discharged..." Morgan tells him.

"Then why do I feel so bad?" Reid whimpers.

"...I accidentally hit you with my car. Sorry, Pretty Boy."

There was no response.

"Reid?"

"Just kill me now Morgan. Just kill me now."

* * *

"Reid" Reid hears Morgan sigh on the other end of the phone, and he stubbornly ignores the exasperation in his best friends voice. "Reid it's been a week. You have to leave your house."

"No" Reid says stubbornly.

"At least leave your bed."

"And risk falling down the stairs, or have the ceiling collapse on me, or get electrocuted in the bathtub...or worse, get hit by a car again? No thanks."

"Hotch is going to lose it if you request to work straight from home again" Morgan tells him.

"At least I'll still be alive."

"Reid..."

"I'm not leaving this bed. I'm safe here. No one can hurt me..."

Then he screamed. Soon after was the sound of a crash.

"Reid?" Morgan yells in alarm.

"...A car just crashed through my wall" Reid says in disbelief. _"A car just crashed through my wall!"_

"...Does that mean you'll leave the house?" Morgan asks.


End file.
